I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im holly from the hills drunk
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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