We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
