I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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