we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
