It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
