You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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