all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
