turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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