I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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