My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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