I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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