I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
