i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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