Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
