It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
