bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
