hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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