Even water is tasting like jack daniels
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
