were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
