The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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