My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
