Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
