So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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