the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
