Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
