I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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