I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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