Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
