i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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