btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
your like the ambassador to my penis.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
