I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
