Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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