no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
