Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
