Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
