I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Small penises have feelings too.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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