Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Terrible idea I love it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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