Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
