doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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