dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
