Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
