This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
