She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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