You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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