why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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