either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
