bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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