I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
