Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i think my tv is drunk
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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