does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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