hotel room ftw
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize