oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
