Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
