haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
