we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
