Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
