I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I had to cum in my sink.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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