Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
