we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
