I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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