found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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