While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
