is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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