why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
